The Strength to Start Again: Embracing Recovery’s Journey
Pride is a complex emotion, especially in recovery. Recently, I had the opportunity to talk with a young man who works at Woodhaven Recovery. I've known him for quite some time, ever since the early days of his sobriety. I've watched him grow, overcome challenges, and become someone I deeply admire. During our conversation, I asked him a question that was, at first, simple but soon became profoundly reflective: "Is your mother proud of you?"
It wasn't an easy yes or no. He didn't answer immediately. It wasn't a straightforward response, but rather a pause—an opportunity for him to dig deeper into his feelings. After some thought, he came to the conclusion that, yes, his mother is proud of him. But that answer wasn’t just about the achievements he’s reached or the struggles he’s overcome. It reflected something deeper: it was about the person he’s become.
This conversation made me reflect on something that I’ve thought about often, especially as I’ve been on my own journey with recovery and as I support others on theirs. It’s not always about what we’ve overcome, but about who we become along the way. It’s not just the obstacles that shape us, but how we grow from them, how we learn from our past mistakes, and how we work to improve ourselves each day. The person this young man has become is someone his family and I are proud of.
The journey through recovery reveals how pride emerges not just from conquering challenges, but from the resilience shown along the way. I feel immense pride in this young man, not just because of what he’s overcome, but because of who he is today—the thoughtful choices he makes now, the way he carries himself, and the positive impact he has on those around him.
This brings me to a bigger question that I’ve often asked myself: How do I separate the pride I feel for my loved one from their past mistakes? I’m proud of them today, but what about the time spent in addiction? How do I reconcile my pride with the things they did while actively struggling with substance use? I’m not proud of the lying, the stealing, the manipulation—the destructive choices that come with addiction. But I remind myself that’s not the whole story. That’s not where the journey ends.
Forgiveness is an incredibly powerful tool, one that has played a big role in my own life, especially when it comes to my loved ones. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean pretending the past didn’t happen. It means understanding, letting go of the anger, and embracing the opportunity to heal. To me, forgiveness means creating room for growth, for change, for improvement. And that’s something I’ve seen in the young man I spoke with, and it’s something I’ve seen in my loved one as well.
I’m not proud of the choices they made during their addiction, but I am incredibly proud of the changes they’ve made since. I’m proud of them for owning their mistakes, for recognizing the harm they’ve caused, and for taking responsibility. The growth doesn’t always come in the way we expect, and sometimes it doesn’t come in the way we hope. I used to imagine a moment, a specific conversation, where my loved one would come to my husband and me and openly express his regret for the things he had done, asking for forgiveness in a formal way. That moment never came. Instead, my loved one offered us something even more meaningful—a living amends.
What is a living amends? It’s not about a single conversation or a specific event. A living amends is reflected in how someone chooses to live their life each day after recognizing the harm they’ve caused. It’s demonstrated through their actions and how they make use of the second chances they’ve been given. A living amends is evident in their compassion and empathy for others and their dedication to bettering themselves physically, emotionally, and mentally. It’s about a commitment to service, making a positive difference in the world, and fostering care for oneself and others in a healthy, meaningful way.
This same spirit of living amends is alive and thriving at Woodhaven on Mulberry, where young men, past and present, navigate early sobriety with a maturity and dedication that continues to inspire me. I’ve watched them navigate the complex world of early sobriety with a level of maturity and commitment that continually impresses me. They work hard, not only to better themselves but to contribute to the community around them. They volunteer, they engage in local activities, and they support each other in ways that I find truly remarkable.
These young men have made their own living amends, not in one dramatic gesture, but in the way they live each day. They are actively building their futures, attending college, working in the community, and establishing themselves as responsible, sober young adults. Their commitment to recovery is not just about sobriety; it’s about building a future grounded in personal growth, self-care, and service. It’s about embracing the chance for a new beginning and making every day count. It’s about what they do with the opportunity they’ve been given, and I am deeply proud of them.
If you ever meet one of these young men, you’ll see what I mean. Their actions are their story, and it’s a story of hope, resilience, and redemption. I am proud of them, not just for overcoming their pasts, but for becoming the men they are today—men who live with purpose, with intention, and with a commitment to building a better future for themselves and the world around them.
Recovery is a journey, and it’s one that doesn’t follow a straight line. There are setbacks, there are bumps along the way, and there are moments when we feel like we’re not making progress at all. But in those moments, I’ve learned that the true measure of pride doesn’t come from perfection. It comes from the courage to continue, from the strength to face our pasts and still move forward, from the resilience to keep going, even when the road ahead seems uncertain.
And in all of this, I feel a deep sense of pride for the young men I’ve watched grow and for my own loved one. It’s a pride that comes from the growth, the transformation, and the commitment to making each day better than the last. Recovery may not follow a straight path, but in every step along the way, there is progress—progress that deserves to be honored and celebrated.
